Cliques -- They're Not Just for High School

I'm a thirtysomething who should appreciate by now the futility of raging against the machine.

Today's mad rant is about adult cliques. Cliques in "Mommy" groups; cliques in parent groups at their kids' schools; cliques in church ("No you didn't just say that! Not in church?!?") -- yes, honey, I did say that; cliques at work and cliques in neighborhoods.

Admit it: when we have our own close friends, our established mechanism that makes the status quo possible, we're not quick to meet the newbie. And to be quite frank, part of that is rooted in jealousy: "What if my best buddies like that person better than me?" Or, "What if everything changes when we let that new person join us? What if I become the outcast?"

A couple of years ago, I drove to the school in my nice but older Ford Aerostar van to pick up my kindergartner every day. I did not realize that the circle of moms who stood a few feet from me each day noticed what I drove until I drove my sister's Mercedes SUV to the school one day. I'll be darned if those same ladies came to me in a group and asked me excitedly if I got a new car. Upon my telling them that I borrowed it from my sister, the conversation ended and they went back to their usual place. It was that blatant. Subsequent to that day, any attempt I made to interact with them during the last few minutes outside the classroom was met with indifference.

Now, to say that it "hurt" me would be an overstatement since I didn't lose any friends. It did, however, reinforce my tendency toward cynicism and pessimism. It seemed so unjust: they're not better than me just because they drive $50,000 automobiles and have $90 Nike shoes and memberships at the elite athletic club in town --- but they've got their circle locked-up.

Well, I have plenty to keep me busy, believe me, and life is what it is. Past and current experiences and circumstances can help me equip my children for life's cruelties, even within the church; and hopefully, they'll be shining lights of love and true compassion in this world.